This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
