so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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