i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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