my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
