After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
