somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
