As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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