I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Green mimosas i think yes
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
