Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
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