dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
