You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Randomize
