I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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