i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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