I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
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