he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
he just fucked me for my cheese.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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