somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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