Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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