apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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