i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Randomize
