So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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