how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm gonna fight the coyote
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
