She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
