and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
