Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Randomize
