I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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