My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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