Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
