went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
