Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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