Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
