Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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