i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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