Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
