Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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