I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
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decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
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It all started with a game of naked twister.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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