You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
