Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
