i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize