I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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