I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He better not be in your backpack
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Randomize
