How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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