Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
