I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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