Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Randomize
