youre lurking in front of me
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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