Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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