Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
