New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
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I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
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I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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