life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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