You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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