you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize