Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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