i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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