Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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