Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize