you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
