took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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