I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
