At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
