i think my tv is drunk
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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