What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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