Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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