Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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