I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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